Anoher Lesson Learned

When I began exploring the possibility of having a submissive side to myself, I knew what the definition via Webster's Dictionary was ,however, I did not know the definition or meaning of being a submissive female. I thought that I did, as a matter of fact I was almost positive that I knew. After almost three months of learning how to submit to my Master in order to please Him, I now realize I had no idea. Submission is not what I had thought that it was.....a game, role play or simply a bit of fun for a short time. No, my preconceived notions were wrong and I am very glad that they were. I have learned not only the physical actions of becoming submissive, but also the feeling of becoming submissive. A feeling of change within myself and honest enjoyment of having my Master own my sexuality. I almost lost my Master over a feeling of anger within myself that I misunderstood. I was angry to be forced to show Him something that I did not want to show Him and in turn He felt as though He had hurt me and that maybe submission was not what I really needed or wanted. The few days that He asked me to take to consider my position were long and hard, however, in that brief period of time that He no longer owned my sexuality, I realized that I needed Him to control it for me.  I felt lost and unsatisfied without him at the helm. Guiding me and instructing me. Do I think that this means I am weak or unbalanced? No, quite the opposite...I think that it shows that I am strong enough and balanced enough to admit I need and indeed LOVE the sexual control I have given Him. For every time I please Him I am also pleased. My Master has worked so hard to find what I like or do not like and I am so grateful to have met Him. I feel that my road to total submission will be long and have many ups and downs, however, I feel that I am making progress and that what I have learned thus far has made me very glad that I began this journey and that I did not give up.

My New Task

I have been assigned a new task by Master and I have been ordered to explain the task in my blog. Each time I feel as though I would like to play with myself, I am to go to my corner. I am ordered to place my nose in the corner, pull my panties down to my knees, stand on my tip toes and masturbate myself to the edge of an orgasm and stop. No matter day or night, whenever I feel the urge this is what I must do. I also must admit, embarrassingly, I am enjoying this task.